Goodbye Guilt!
5 Strategies To Help Moms Get a Grip On Useless Guilt

Guilt is the go-to emotion for most moms. Moms feel guilty at work when they are away from their children. They feel guilty when they are away from work, spending time with their kids. They feel guilty for not earning enough or earning more than someone else, for working too much, for not working enough… you get the idea. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

Here are some tips to mitigate the guilt:

1. Recognize guilt for what it is.
Guilt has a purpose. It helps guide us away from behavior that is—according to own values—wrong. However, we overdo it to the point that we feel guilty for every little thing we think we should or should not do. Are murder, cheating, and stealing equivalent to not calling your mother or missing your aunt’s 90th birthday?

2. Give guilt five minutes.
The next time you feel that familiar pang of guilt, stop what you are doing immediately and set your phone timer for 5 minutes. In that five minutes decide if you are going to change the thing that makes you feel guilty or not. If so, how? If not, then how can you live with the reality that caused the guilt—even justify it—without the guilt?

3. Be more present.
If you are with your kids—do that fully and with your whole self. If you are at work—dedicate yourself. When your mind drifts to other things, write them down and move on. Being more present minimizes the habit of moving into guilty feelings. Presence is a habit worth developing because it has so many benefits.

4. Set some boundaries right now.
Open your calendar and make a list of things that you can stop doing—even temporarily. For most of us, one source of guilt is being over-committed, with a list of to-dos that include things that we don’t want or even need to be doing. Start small and work your way up to the bigger stuff, but cut, cut, cut.

5. Remember that you don’t get extra points for feeling bad.
Your kids will not love or respect you more or grow up better because you have been feeling that awful, stomach curdling guilt for years.

“I don’t always have a lot of energy, but my kids almost always revitalize me. Of course like any working mom, sometimes I’m guilt-ridden. I think I should be sitting down doing an educational computer game with Carrie or taking Ellie to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. These kids are such sponges, and I should be taking advantage of that.”
– Katie Couric

Love My New Bag!
If you are like me and need a nice shoulder bag to do double-duty as a purse and a laptop bag (or diaper bag—although I am past that life stage), then check out this great deal I found at JP Lizzy

Speaking Of Shopping… Could You Go A Year Without Buying Anything?
My friend Kim Croft Miller did, and so did her husband and three kids. Watch this short, inspiring video about their experience.  Family Stopped Spending For A Year

My family and I actually go without spending occasionally just to get a grip on ourselves. The longest we have gone is 90 days, and the first thing we noticed is how much time we saved NOT shopping! Also, if you ponder this and decide not to do it—don’t feel guilty about it—instead decide that it’s not for you and move on guilt-free.