What to do the next time fear hits….
Fear almost always accompanies change-and since change is a constant companion in life today, I thought it might be helpful to have some quick strategies for dealing with fear.
- Decide if you are experiencing fear, frustration or fatigue. If you are overworked or under slept, you might just be fatigued. But keep in mind that fear often masks itself as other emotions at first-often people call it frustration or anger when really, just under the surface, there is fear.
- Acknowledge that you are feeling fearful. Don’t try to push it down or push it away or affirm the opposite of it. Resisting it will only make it worse. Invite the fear to the surface of your mind.
- *Stop what you are doing and name it. Carve out some time as soon as possible to explore the fear in a journal, think through it during a walk, or share it with a trusted person who won’t make it worse. Sometimes giving the fear a name makes it significantly better right away; but for most of us naming it leads to more information, which then leads to other layers.
- When you feel relief-let go of it. The above strategy works with most run-of-the-mill fear and it can do so pretty quickly. (If you are experiencing crippling anxiety, see a therapist and ask about a treatment called EMDR.) Once you feel a sense of relief from the fear, don’t spend time wondering if it will come back or why it came. Instead remind yourself that if it comes back you now have a way to deal with it that works for you.
*This article contains information on one of the emotional intelligence skills. (in #3 above)
The Coaching Minute will feature one each month in 2013.
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” Eleanor Roosevelt
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