If you want to move forward in life…stop doing this thing
Here is a quiz question: Name a mental/verbal habit that nearly everyone does (so often that they don’t even realize they are doing it) that seems to be encouraged by our culture and our media, yet is not helpful at all and is actually harmful to our forward-moving success.
Any guesses?
Complaining? No, it’s not complaining. Complaining–a little bit– can actually be productive because it names our stress and allows us to make changes.
Give up?
Okay….The answer is REGRET. Regret is the habit of looking back and wishing you had done something differently. Thinking about and verbalizing your regrets will actually help keep you right where you are—or worse, slow you down without your awareness. Here’s why:
Regret is a liar
If regret is telling you that you should have never gone to Medical School, or that you should have fired that nightmare employee on the first day, or even that you should have quit smoking years ago—stop and take a moment to tell the whole truth about those past choices. The truth about the past has many complexities; lumping your entire life or career choice into one sentence of regret is a form of lying to yourself. And everyone knows that lying is not nice—and not helpful.
Regret is a story taken out of context. Add the context back-in when you think about the regret and it will likely go away.
So the next time you catch yourself about to launch into a big, stinky statement about what you wish you had done differently, stop yourself. Make peace with your “mistake” and move forward.
CAREER CHANGE READINESS QUIZ
Though the prospect of a new start is refreshing don’t forget the fundamentals of having an eye-catching and current resume, writing a great cover letter, brushing up on your interview skills, and most of all presenting yourself as the complete package! Before you take that leap, take this quick quiz to make sure you are completely prepared.
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A Workbook to Guide You Through 3 Action Steps to Name it, Blame it, and Reframe it.
People who make a commitment to reduce their stress and find healthy coping strategies can see results right away. Experiencing greater joy, a sense of calm, and a clear, powerful, productive mind is all possible; the resources for reducing nearly any kind of stress are readily available to us. This book is one of those resources.
