Do this more if you want to have more power over your time…and your life
What would it feel like to know that you had your arms wrapped securely around your career, while enjoying your life and delivering on your promises to friends, family and yourself—and still be able to take on big projects or tasks and actually get them done?
If having the life described above sounds appealing, then I have one word for you: NO.
If you want more control of your life, one of the central concepts you must embrace is the word “no.” I would estimate that around 90% of my clients need help with the concept of “no”; perhaps 10% need to say “yes” a lot more, but the majority of us have big, big issues with the concept of saying “no.”
Most of us tend to say “yes” way too much. The problem with saying “yes” to everything is two-fold: 1). The math does not work—if you are saying “yes” to everything, then it’s likely you don’t have a sustainable model for running your life or for any type of success (e.g., reducing sleep time, skipping workouts and surviving on meals on the run are not sustainable models because they will cost you more time later); and 2). If you are constantly saying “yes” to everyone else, then you are putting other people ahead of your own needs, and that leads to feeling like a victim—which is never a good thing.
Say NO until it feels good
Please don’t misread my words, here. I am not suggesting that you march into your boss’s office and decline that big project. I am talking about the many, many small “yes” answers that are building up to strangle the sense of power you have over your own life. It can be something as small as occasionally saying “no” to that daily lunch with co-workers because it derails your productivity, or saying “no” to volunteering to host next weekend’s family gathering, or saying “no” to spending time with a person you simply do not enjoy. Start small; you don’t have to be mean, but try saying “No, No, No.”
